Bizarre Patents
User-operated amusement apparatus for kicking the user's buttocks
An apparatus including a user-operated and controlled apparatus for self-infliction of repetitive blows to the user's buttocks by a plurality of elongated arms bearing flexible extensions that rotate under the user's control.
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| Number | Title | Issue Date |
| 8190395 | Comparible diagnostics for renewable energy power systems A computer processor implemented method of measuring, monitoring, comparing and diagnosing the power generated of at least two renewable power systems provided to at least two consumers and alerting at least one of consumers in the event of comparative underperforma... | 05/29/2012 |
| 8185350 | Systems and methods for operational verification of a missile approach warning system A coupler that generates and emits a simulated missile signature for assessing the operational capability of a missile approach warning system. The coupler may be directly attached to the system by an adapter. Couplers may be used in multiplicity, simultaneously or ... | 05/22/2012 |
| 8180593 | Determination and control of wellbore fluid level, output flow, and desired pump operating speed, using a control system for a centrifugal pump disposed within the wellbore A method and apparatus for determining a fluid level and/or output flow during operation of a centrifugal pump, are provided, which may be used for production of gas and/or oil from a well, and include a vector feedback model to derive values of torque and speed fro... | 05/15/2012 |
| 8170835 | Data analysis applications A system and method of monitoring equipment performance and predicting failures. The system can include a data historian that stores data for a piece of equipment and designates the data to tags. The tags can correspond to sensors that gather the data from the piece... | 05/01/2012 |
| 8170834 | Remote beverage equipment monitoring and control system and method The present disclosure provides a system and method for monitoring and controlling modifications to beverage equipment. The system includes at least one beverage equipment which may include a controller. The controller communicates over a communications network with... | 05/01/2012 |
| 8155923 | System, remote device, and method for validating operation of a wind turbine A method for validating operation of a wind turbine from a remote device. The remote device communicates with a controller, which is operatively coupled to the wind turbine. The method includes enabling a user through the remote device to submit a request for wind t... | 04/10/2012 |
| 8155922 | Electrical device cooling efficiency monitoring Changes in equipment cooling performance may be detected by indirectly measuring cooling performance by way of a cooling efficiency indicator. An operating cooling efficiency indicator is calculated as a ratio between equipment electrical power consumption and a tem... | 04/10/2012 |
| 8150654 | Chiller's performance tester A chiller's performance tester includes two flowrate sensors, four temperature sensors, one current sensor, one voltage sensor, all sensors being externally connectable, and an enclosure in which a thermal energy calculation IC board, an electrical power calculation... | 04/03/2012 |
| 8140296 | Method and apparatus for generalized performance evaluation of equipment using achievable performance derived from statistics and real-time data A statistical performance evaluation system for a thermodynamic device and process uses the achievable performance derived from statistics and real-time data for the device or process to evaluate the current performance of the device or process, and to adjust the op... | 03/20/2012 |
| 8140297 | Three dimensional chip fabrication A three-dimensional (3D) chip is fabricated from components that have been cut out of a two-dimensional (2D) chip. The components from the 2D chip are layered and coupled to create the layers of the 3D chip. By testing the 2D chip first, the layers of the 3D chip ha... | 03/20/2012 |
| 8135563 | Apparatus and method for evaluating the performance of systems having time-varying output characteristics An apparatus for evaluating a system. The apparatus can include a storage element for receiving at least one time-varying output characteristic of the system, the time-varying output characteristic comprising a plurality of raw data points representing a plurality o... | 03/13/2012 |
| 8131504 | Method for achieving arbitrary precision A system includes a serial connection mode for obtaining a first approximation to a zero error result by means of a negative rough precision for manufacturing a plurality of first semi-finished products, and a measurement apparatus for measuring a precision value of... | 03/06/2012 |
| 8131505 | Method for computer-aided analysis of the reliability of a technical system, corresponding device, and a corresponding technical system The invention relates to a method for the computer-assisted analysis of the reliability of a technical system comprising a plurality of technical components. According to the method, the reliabilities of the components are respectively described by a component funct... | 03/06/2012 |
| 8131506 | System and method for using a network of thermostats as tool to verify peak demand reduction The invention comprises systems and methods for estimating the rate of change in temperature inside a structure. At least one thermostat located is inside the structure and is used to control an climate control system in the structure. At least one remote processor ... | 03/06/2012 |
| 8121816 | Identifying causes of service level agreement performance violations A computer-implemented method may include measuring a performance of a virtual channel carrying packets through a transport network for a time period, measuring a performance of an ingress interface to the transport network carrying the virtual channel packets for t... | 02/21/2012 |
| 8121817 | Abnormal event detection using principal component analysis Process control system for detecting abnormal events in a process having one or more independent variables and one or more dependent variables. The system includes a device for measuring values of the one or more independent and dependent variables, a process contro... | 02/21/2012 |
| 8117505 | Resource exhaustion prediction, detection, diagnosis and correction Resource exhaustion is anticipated, a cause of the resource exhaustion is identified and options are identified to address the resource exhaustion. ... | 02/14/2012 |
| 8117008 | Junction temperature prediction method and apparatus for use in a power conversion module A method and apparatus for predicting junction device temperature of at least a first switching device in a power conversion module that includes the first switching device and at least a second switching device, the method comprising the steps of identifying a cros... | 02/14/2012 |
| 8112250 | Processor power management Semiconductor device circuits and methods are provided for adjusting core processor performance and energy-efficiency based on usage metrics. Metric detection, performance state selection, and adjustment are done in digital logic hardware without intervening input f... | 02/07/2012 |
| 8112251 | Multi-sensor monitoring of athletic performance Athletic performance monitoring systems and methods, many of which utilize, in some manner, global positioning satellite (“GPS”) data, provide data and information to athletes and/or to equipment used by athletes during an athletic event. Such systems and method... | 02/07/2012 |
| 8108181 | On-board performance monitor and power control system A system and method for controlling performance and/or power based on monitored performance characteristics. Various aspects of the present invention may comprise an integrated circuit comprising a first circuit module that receives electrical power. A second circui... | 01/31/2012 |
| 8108179 | End of life prediction of flash memory Disclosed are a method, electronic device, and computer readable medium for determining an end-of-life stage of the flash memory. The method includes detecting at least one life cycle event associated with a flash memory residing on an electronic device. A counter t... | 01/31/2012 |
| 8108180 | End of life prediction of flash memory Disclosed are a method, electronic device, and computer readable medium for determining an end-of-life stage of the flash memory. The method includes detecting at least one life cycle event associated with a flash memory residing on an electronic device. A counter t... | 01/31/2012 |
| 8103517 | System and method to improve fitness training A method for creating a personalized exercise routine with at least one user interface used in connection with forming machine-readable instructions protected as private to a user subsequently carrying out the exercise routine on an exercise machine, the method incl... | 01/24/2012 |
| 8103478 | Method and system for semiconductor process control and monitoring by using PCA models of reduced size By dividing a complex set of parameters of a production process in forming semiconductor devices into individual blocks, respective PCA models may be established for each block and may thereafter be combined by operating on summary statistics of each model block in ... | 01/24/2012 |
| 8099258 | Smart garment A sensor authenticated to a garment transfers information, either wirelessly or wired, to an external data processing device. Such information includes location information, physiometric data of the individual wearing the garment, garment performance and wear data (... | 01/17/2012 |
| 8095338 | Data processing apparatus and method A data processing apparatus includes a storing unit that stores, for each device, pieces of configuration data defining respective logic circuits that demonstrate different processing performance; a logic circuit configuration unit that configures a combination of t... | 01/10/2012 |
| 8095337 | Methods and systems for computation of probabilistic loss of function from failure mode A method for determining a probabilistic loss of function of a system includes the steps of determining a plurality of failure mode probabilities, ranking a plurality of functions pertaining to the failure mode probabilities, and identifying a likely function at lea... | 01/10/2012 |
| 8090556 | Power distribution network performance data presentation system and method A visualization system for monitoring performance data of an electrical power distribution network is provided. In one embodiment, a user may select a network circuit and view a network circuit diagram that includes indicia representing transformers and other electr... | 01/03/2012 |
| 8086420 | Junction temperature prediction method and apparatus for use in a power conversion module A method and apparatus for predicting junction device temperature of at least a first switching device in a power conversion module that includes a plurality of switching devices, the method comprising the steps of, during switching activity, identifying at least on... | 12/27/2011 |
| 8086421 | Multi-sensor monitoring of athletic performance Athletic performance monitoring systems and methods, many of which utilize, in some manner, global positioning satellite (“GPS”) data, provide data and information to athletes and/or to equipment used by athletes during an athletic event. Such systems and method... | 12/27/2011 |
| 8073655 | Quantifying the impact of network latency on the end-to-end response time of distributed applications A method for measuring system response sensitivity, using live traffic and an analysis that converts randomly arriving stimuli and reactions to the stimuli to mean measures over chosen intervals, thereby creating periodically occurring samples that are processed. Th... | 12/06/2011 |
| 8073654 | Process for controlling the energy performance of an industrial unit Process for controlling the energy performance of an industrial unit, in which process: the value of a set (V) of variables relating to the industrial unit and to the environment are measured, as is the value of a quantity representing the energy performance (W), an... | 12/06/2011 |
| 8069013 | Water heater monitor/diagnostic display apparatus A water heater is provided with monitor/diagnostic display apparatus that selectively provides a user with visual or other type of indicia of the recovery time for the water heater. The apparatus includes a monitoring unit that may be mounted on the water heater, an... | 11/29/2011 |
| 8065111 | Systems and methods for optimization of missile and projectile aerodynamic configurations The present disclosure provides systems and methods to aid engineers and designers in pinpointing optimal aerodynamic designs given a target objective. Advantageously, the present invention allows a user to tackle shifts in requirements or to simply conduct prelimin... | 11/22/2011 |
| 8065112 | Apparatus and method for assessing exceedance of a process beyond safe operating limits An apparatus and method implementable with a software application for checking or assessing exceedances of process variables beyond safe operating limits is described. The process has instruments, a process history database, and one or more external databases. The i... | 11/22/2011 |
| 8060340 | Controllers, observers, and applications thereof Controller scaling and parameterization are described. Techniques that can be improved by employing the scaling and parameterization include, but are not limited to, controller design, tuning and optimization. The scaling and parameterization methods described here ... | 11/15/2011 |
| 8060341 | Performance analysis system and method A system and method is described herein that includes a software-based functionality to assess the relationship between reliability, operational, maintenance and plant betterment activities and to determine the frontier of efficient spending and other measures of pe... | 11/15/2011 |
| 8055473 | Performance monitor unit for sampling all performance events generated by a processor Detecting and recording events in a processor with a performance monitor in the processor that samples events. The performance monitor in the processor receives performance event signals generated by the processor that indicate the current full event state of the pr... | 11/08/2011 |
| 8055686 | Method and program of collecting performance data for storage network In a storage network including at least a computer system, at least an external storage and at least a network system for communication of input/output data between the computer system and the external storage, a method of collecting the performance data on the netw... | 11/08/2011 |
