Bizarre Patents
User-operated amusement apparatus for kicking the user's buttocks
An apparatus including a user-operated and controlled apparatus for self-infliction of repetitive blows to the user's buttocks by a plurality of elongated arms bearing flexible extensions that rotate under the user's control.
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| Number | Title | Issue Date |
| 7642093 | Automated tissue staining system and reagent container An automated staining system and a reagent container designed for use with the automated staining apparatus. The reagent container includes a reagent containment section capable of containing a volume of a reagent. The reagent containment section includes an upper w... | 01/05/2010 |
| 7553672 | Random access slide stainer with independent slide heating regulation An automated slide stainer with slides mounted in a horizontal position on a rotary carousel. Reagents and rinse liquids are automatically dispensed onto tissue sections or cells mounted on slides for the purpose of performing chemical or immunohistochemical stains.... | 06/30/2009 |
| 7501283 | Fluid dispensing apparatus A fluid dispensing apparatus includes a mounting assembly having a plurality of mounting apertures and a plurality of fluid dispensing cartridges positioned within the mounting apertures. The mounting apertures and cartridges include matching cross-sectional profile... | 03/10/2009 |
| 7470541 | Automated biological reaction apparatus An automated immunostaining apparatus having a reagent application zone and a reagent supply zone. The apparatus has a carousel slide support supporting a plurality of slide supports thereon, and drive means engaging the carousel slide support for consecutively posi... | 12/30/2008 |
| 7435383 | Automated tissue staining system and reagent container An automated staining system and a reagent container designed for use with the automated staining apparatus. The reagent container includes a reagent containment section capable of containing a volume of a reagent. The reagent containment section includes an upper w... | 10/14/2008 |
| 7416700 | Immunoassay fluorometer A fluorometer for sensing the fluorescence of a sample utilizes an optical energy source for exciting a sample to be tested and an optical energy detector for detecting the emitted energy from the excited sample. Drive electronics are used for positioning the sample... | 08/26/2008 |
| 7413868 | Use of particulate labels in bioanalyte detection methods New applications for the use of distinguishable particulate labels available in a variety of hues and sized in the submicron range are described. These applications include profiling of cellular components, obtaining secretion patterns, identifying a multiplicity of... | 08/19/2008 |
| 7407811 | System and method for analyte measurement using AC excitation A method of measuring an analyte in a biological fluid comprises applying an excitation signal having a DC component and an AC component. The AC and DC responses are measured; a corrected DC response is determined using the AC response; and a concentration of the an... | 08/05/2008 |
| 7400983 | Information notification sample processing system and methods of biological slide processing A sample processing system (101) that may be automated and methods are disclosed where samples) (198) are arranged on a carrier element (197) and a process operation control system (171) automatically processes the samples) perhaps roboti... | 07/15/2008 |
| 7390667 | System and method for analyte measurement using AC phase angle measurements A method of measuring an analyte in a biological fluid comprises applying an excitation signal having a DC component and an AC component. The AC and DC responses are measured; a corrected DC response is determined using the AC response; and a concentration of the an... | 06/24/2008 |
| 7378055 | Automated molecular pathology apparatus having fixed slide platforms Apparatus and methods for automatically staining or treating multiple tissue samples mounted on slides are provided, in which the slides and reagent bottles are held in fixed position, and the reagent, wash and coverslipping solutions brought to the slides. Alternat... | 05/27/2008 |
| 7371329 | Method for filtering particles from a fluid Methods for filtering particles from a fluid are disclosed, wherein an array of microstructures defining respective microchannels having respective minimum widths are used to separate the fluid from particles to be filtered. The fluid flows through the minimum width... | 05/13/2008 |
| 7371247 | Method and apparatus for penetrating tissue A tissue penetrating system includes a plurality of penetrating members each having a tip. A penetrating member driver is coupled to the plurality of penetrating members. Each tip of a penetrating member is uncovered during launch of the penetrating member by the pe... | 05/13/2008 |
| 7368080 | Smear preparing apparatus A smear preparing apparatus for preparing a smear of a specimen on a glass slide by using a spreader based on a smearing condition, the apparatus includes a memory for storing smearing conditions in connection with pertinent information required for establishing the... | 05/06/2008 |
| 7364698 | Automatic analyzer Without causing an increase in size and complication of an automatic analyzer, the efficiency of washing cuvettes can be increased and the amount of detergent used can be more effectively saved in comparison with known analyzers. In an automatic analyzer in which a ... | 04/29/2008 |
| 7361509 | Dynamic metered fluid volume determination method and related apparatus A method for dynamically determining the volume of a liquid dispensed by a metering system, the metering system including a metering pump, a pump motor, a sensor, and a conduit interconnecting the pump and a metering probe. The method includes the steps of aspiratin... | 04/22/2008 |
| 7338639 | System and method for analyte measurement A method of measuring an analyte in a biological fluid comprises applying an excitation signal having a DC component and an AC component. The AC and DC responses are measured; a corrected DC response is determined using the AC response; and a concentration of the an... | 03/04/2008 |
| 7331931 | Method and apparatus for penetrating tissue These and other objects of the present invention are achieved in a body fluid sampling system for use on a tissue site that includes an electrically powered drive force generator. A penetrating member is operatively coupled to the force generator. The force generato... | 02/19/2008 |
| 7323141 | Button layout for a testing instrument A sensor dispensing instrument adapted to handle a sensor pack containing a plurality of sensors and to perform a test using one of the sensors. The sensor dispensing instrument includes an outer housing and display disposed on the outer housing for showing items. T... | 01/29/2008 |
| 7318913 | Fluid exchange in a chamber on a microscope slide A sample chamber is formed by a housing sealed against a microscope slide. The housing has fluid ports, including a well formed over at least one port. In a rinse station, rinse solution is drawn from a reservoir through the chamber to a waste reservoir. At a fill s... | 01/15/2008 |
| 7316700 | Self optimizing lancing device with adaptation means to temporal variations in cutaneous properties A lancing device, an embodiment of which controls the advancement and retraction of a lancet by monitoring the position of the lancet in conjunction with a lancet controller which incorporates a feedback loop for modulating the lancet driver to follow a predetermine... | 01/08/2008 |
| 7316929 | Auto-calibration label and apparatus comprising same An auto-calibration label for use with one or more sensing instruments. The label includes first and second encoded calibration information. The second encoded calibration information may correspond to a different instrument than the first encoded calibration inform... | 01/08/2008 |
| 7306164 | Biochemical analysis method and apparatus Samples and dry chemical analysis elements, which are necessary for analyses of the samples, are loaded on a sample tray. Each sample is sucked with a spotting nozzle of a spotting unit and spotted onto one dry chemical analysis element. Analysis information, which ... | 12/11/2007 |
| 7303725 | Automated high volume slide staining system An automated slide processing apparatus includes a plurality of work stations arranged in a stack, and a transport/elevator for transporting slides between the various work stations. ... | 12/04/2007 |
| 7303920 | Staining reagent for staining hematology samples in an automated staining apparatus Automated staining equipment that can mix reagents is used to spray a Romanowsky stain onto slide mounted specimens which are then briefly centrifuged. The centrifugation step removes excess stain leaving only a thin film. Depending on the time of the centrifugation... | 12/04/2007 |
| 7297311 | Automatic smear preparing apparatus and automatic sample analysis system having the same An automatic smear preparing apparatus includes a sample smearing section for smearing a biological sample on a slide glass by using a spreader glass, a washing section for washing the used spreader glass, and an ultrasonic generating section for applying ultrasound... | 11/20/2007 |
| 7294502 | Device for collecting liquid samples The invention relates to a device for collecting samples of fluids, in particular of body fluids such as saliva, said device comprising an absorbent pad and two housing parts which are connected to the latter in a movable manner and can enclose the absorbent pad. Th... | 11/13/2007 |
| 7291117 | Method and apparatus for penetrating tissue These and other objects of the present invention are achieved in a body fluid sampling system for use on a tissue site that includes a voice coil based penetrating member driver. A plurality of penetrating members are included. A transport mechanism is configured to... | 11/06/2007 |
| 7288227 | Biochip reader with enhanced illumination and bioarray positioning apparatus A method of illumination and illumination apparatus are provided in a biochip reader. Illumination is provided by a non-collimated laser source or a light emitting diode (LED). The light is directed to opposing sides of a glass substrate by a pair of optical fiber b... | 10/30/2007 |
| 7285245 | Biochemical analysis method and apparatus Samples and dry chemical analysis elements necessary for analyses of the samples are loaded on a circular sampler tray. Each of the samples having been loaded on the sampler tray is sucked through a spotting nozzle and spotted onto one of the dry chemical analysis e... | 10/23/2007 |
| 7284900 | Apparatus and method for mixing specimens in vials Method and apparatus for mixing a specimen (e.g., a biological fluid specimen) in an upstanding container having an internal mixer with a cavity defined by an upstanding annular wall. The annular wall of the mixer is engaged by a movable holder, which is elevated al... | 10/23/2007 |
| 7282240 | Elastomeric mask and use in fabrication of devices An elastomeric mask is provided that allows deposition of a variety of materials through mask openings. The mask seals effectively against substrate surfaces, allowing simple deposition from fluid phase, gas phase, and the like or removal of material using gaseous o... | 10/16/2007 |
| 7273591 | Slide cartridge and reagent test slides for use with a chemical analyzer, and chemical analyzer for same A slide cartridge for use with a chemical analyzer includes an upper ring and a lower ring secured together but rotatable with respect to each other. The upper and lower rings define a plurality of reaction chambers between them, which receive dry analyte test slide... | 09/25/2007 |
| 7270970 | Point of care diagnostic systems Systems and methods for medical diagnosis or risk assessment for a patient are provided. These systems and methods are designed to be employed at the point of care, such as in emergency rooms and operating rooms, or in any situation in which a rapid and accurate res... | 09/18/2007 |
| 7271006 | Method and apparatus for automated coverslipping An apparatus and method for selecting and dispensing coverglasses over specimens on slides for the purpose of viewing specimens through a microscope. The selecting device contains a suctioning mechanism for picking up a coverglass from a stack of coverglasses. It al... | 09/18/2007 |
| 7270785 | Automated molecular pathology apparatus having fixed slide platforms Apparatus and methods for automatically staining or treating multiple tissue samples mounted on slides are provided, in which the slides and reagent bottles are held in fixed position, and the reagent and wash solutions brought to the slides. ... | 09/18/2007 |
| 7270788 | Assay device processing instrument An assay device processing instrument comprises a plurality of processing modules. A transport system transports an assay device to each processing module, the transport system being adapted to transfer the assay device from the transport system to the module to ena... | 09/18/2007 |
| 7267795 | Incubator for use in an automated diagnostic analyzer An automated analyzer for performing multiple diagnostic assays simultaneously includes multiple stations, or modules, in which discrete aspects of the assay are performed on fluid samples contained in reaction receptacles. The analyzer includes stations for automat... | 09/11/2007 |
| 7264971 | Read-head for optical diagnostic device A readhead for a photometric diagnostic instrument includes a housing adapted for incorporation within the photometric diagnostic instrument, and an elongated sample table operatively engaged with the housing. The sample table is configured to support elongated reag... | 09/04/2007 |
| 7264972 | Method and apparatus for sorting biological cells with a MEMS device A micromechanical actuator for sorting hematopoietic stem cells for use in cancer therapies. The actuator operates by diverting cells into one of a number of possible pathways fabricated in the fabrication substrate of the micromechanical actuator, when fluorescence... | 09/04/2007 |