Bizarre Patents
User-operated amusement apparatus for kicking the user's buttocks
An apparatus including a user-operated and controlled apparatus for self-infliction of repetitive blows to the user's buttocks by a plurality of elongated arms bearing flexible extensions that rotate under the user's control.
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| Number | Title | Issue Date |
| 4842778 | Apparatus for flow distribution in packed towers Process tower vapor/liquid flow distributor and packing bed comprising a plurality of relatively thin corrugated layers stacked one atop the other. The corrugated sheets are disposed in face to face contact with respective corrugations inclined to the hor... | 06/27/1989 |
| 4821474 | Post-tensioning anchor A post tensioning anchor assembly comprising a tapered tubular member, cable cap and anchoring plate assembly. The anchoring plate is constructed for live end or dead end securement in the sidewall of a concrete formation for post tensioning of a sheathed... | 04/18/1989 |
| 4773193 | Flexible joint building system A dynamic eave building system comprising a flexible joint for first vertical and second angulated structural members pivotally connected one to the other. The adjacent ends of the first and second structural members are mitered into a mating configuratio... | 09/27/1988 |
| 4753574 | Device for producing a directed fluid flow A device for producing a directed fluid flow utilizing an elongate paddle member having first and second wing portions formed along a common longitudinal axis. The wing portions are orthogonally disposed relative to one another. Pivots are constructed in ... | 06/28/1988 |
| 4751731 | Telephone handset disinfecting and/or deodorizing device A device for disinfecting and protecting a part of a telephone handset including a substrate of general shape corresponding to the telephone part, a layer of adhesive on one side of the substrate to receive a disinfectant carrying pad and to enable the su... | 06/14/1988 |
| 4736417 | Adjustable telephone handset support Apparatus for supporting a telephone handset on the user's shoulder while leaving the hands free for other tasks in which a new and improved adjustment mechanism is provided. The handset support includes a shoulder rest; a support member attached to the s... | 04/05/1988 |
| 4731938 | Anaerobic pasteurizing conditioning system An anaerobic, pasteurizing conditioning system for treating matter such as whole and ground grain and minerals to increase the rate of conversion during digestion and thus the nutritional value thereof. The system comprises a direct fired steam generator ... | 03/22/1988 |
| 4729857 | Liquid distributor for packed tower An improved liquid flow distributor for a process column of the type wherein the distributor is positioned above a packing section for the distribution of liquid downwardly therethrough. The improvement comprises a plurality of troughs formed with a downw... | 03/08/1988 |
| 4712510 | Expandable wand pet toy A pet toy comprising a stuffed play object disposed at the end of a tether secured to a flexible telescoping wand. The telescoping wand is constructed with a plurality of segments, the smallest segment having an aperture formed in the distal end for conne... | 12/15/1987 |
| 4709598 | Method of manufacturing unidirectional drive tool A unidirectional drive tool cartridge for use as a torque transmitting device which includes a housing within which is mounted a unidirectional continuous clutch and drive shaft assembly. The drive shaft is carried within a bearing member located within a... | 12/01/1987 |
| 4691484 | Expandable deck system A portable deck system comprising a fixed deck surface adapted for structural support through side panel secured thereto and expandable for adaptation to a plurality of sizes. The fixed deck portion is constructed of a wooden frame and deck members adapte... | 09/08/1987 |
| 4691513 | Rotary power transducer system Method of and apparatus for generating energy from a rolling or swiveling float tank utilizing the buoyant force of water contained therein. The float tank is mounted upon a central pivot to continuously swivel therearound. A series of flotation devices a... | 09/08/1987 |
| 4681220 | Container for an offshore fishing lure Disclosed is a container for an offshore fishing lure which contains an elongated cylinder sized in proportion to contain the lure within it. The cylinder is provided with a first end piece sized and proportioned to frictionally and removably to fit on on... | 07/21/1987 |
| 4679328 | Lettering template A writing template comprising a planar surface and slotted lettering guide movably mounted thereon. The lettering guide is mounted upon the planar surface for rectilinear movement along a plurality of parallel steps. The planar surface includes a clip dis... | 07/14/1987 |
| 4677841 | Method and apparatus for measuring the relative density of gases Gas is vented through a very small orifice or pore with substantially stable pressures before and after the orifice. The orifice is designed so that the expansion through it is similar to a Joule-Thompson expansion of the gas. With ideal gas, this occurs ... | 07/07/1987 |
| 4674387 | Tuning key A linear movement tuning key for the peg head of a stringed musical instrument. A key includes a generally cylindrical body portion having a radially extending flange at the upper end, upon which is mounted a guide roller having its axis generally coplana... | 06/23/1987 |
| 4644717 | Curtain wall valve system A curtain wall drainage system for horizontal mullions comprising a flexible, conforming flap member disposed in flush engagement against a weep hole formed in the mullion. The flap permits egress of water infiltrated therein while preventing infusion of ... | 02/24/1987 |
| 4621475 | Structural strut and truss formed therefrom A structural strut having at least one surface of generally U-shaped cross section and being formed with a pair of upstanding side walls having opposed tapers. The side wall tapers of the strut shift or skew the neutral axis of the member in proportion to... | 11/11/1986 |
| 4610139 | Hydraulic speed control and braking apparatus for draw works A winch apparatus, such as draw works used for raising and lowering drill pipe into a borehole, in which motive power is provided by a hydraulic motor. A multi-stage rotary disk valve is interposed between the fluid supply pump and the hydraulic motor to ... | 09/09/1986 |
| 4603606 | Unidirectional drive tool cartridge and method of manufacture A unidirectional drive tool cartridge for use as a torque transmitting device which includes a housing within which is mounted a unidirectional continuous clutch and drive shaft assembly. The drive shaft is carried within a bearing member located within a... | 08/05/1986 |
| 4604247 | Tower packing material and method Metal vapor-liquid contact plates disposed in face-to-face contact with respective corrugations inclined to the horizontal across an open notional plane. The metal packing is disposed within a vapor-liquid contact column for the purpose of bringing about ... | 08/05/1986 |
| 4597916 | Method of and apparatus for intermediate lamella vapor liquid contact Process tower vapor-liquid contact method and apparatus comprising stacks of corrugated contact plates having perforated lamella disposed therebetween. The corrugated plates are disposed in face-to-face contact with respective corrugations inclined to the... | 07/01/1986 |
| 4547049 | Composite ophthalmic lens system A method and apparatus for a multi-element lens system which combines pre-selected radial differences of separate ophthalmic lenses with non-mating curvatures into a single, flexibly conforming laminated unit. The system comprises a primary lens element o... | 10/15/1985 |
| 4527872 | Composite process cinematography system and method A composite cinematography system and method in which two identical images are projected towards two separate reflective screens, respectively, with a camera being disposed in the reflective path of one of the screens. The reflection from the other screen... | 07/09/1985 |
| 4519960 | Expanded metal saddle tower packing Tower packing elements adapted for dumped packing and employed to effect vapor-liquid contact in vapor-liquid contact columns for the purposes of bringing about mass and heat transfer between the liquid and vapor phases. Each packing element is of the sad... | 05/28/1985 |
| 4510835 | Apparatus for guiding a powered circular saw along an elliptical cutting path Apparatus for controlling the operating relationship of a rotatably driven circular saw blade to an adjacent workpiece includes a base carrying an elongated slide plate having a longitudinal slot adjacent one end. An indexing assembly is disposed between ... | 04/16/1985 |
| 4497173 | Power transducer system Method of and apparatus for generating energy from a rocking float tank utilizing the buoyant force of water contained therein. The float tank is mounted to rock between first and second off center positions wherein the center of gravity of the water cont... | 02/05/1985 |
| 4488576 | Directional flow control valve A multiple flow and direction control valve connectable to a plurality of separate fluid sources, the valve having a fluid power port and a fluid exhaust port and a first movable valve body being operable to add or subtract the flow rates of a plurality o... | 12/18/1984 |
| 4488482 | Method and apparatus for extracting aloe vera gel Disclosed are methods and apparatus for extracting gel from aloe vera leaves without contaminating the gel with toxic juices indigenous to the husks of the leaves. Further, this mechanized extraction is uniquely suited to permit frequent cleaning of the m... | 12/18/1984 |
| 4487572 | Fireplace fire starter Disclosed is an apparatus for safely and effectively facilitating the ignition of logs positioned on a grate within a fireplace. It includes an elongated open top container and a base for support. The open top of the container maintains a flame sustained ... | 12/11/1984 |
| 4484917 | Female external catheter An external catheterization device and technique is disclosed that provides for increased safety, comfort and mobility. The device is constructed from four major elements, an adhesive surface, a pliable stabilizer, a main body and an outlet tube. The adhe... | 11/27/1984 |
| 4484638 | Liquid inertia tool Disclosed is a liquid inertia tool in which the kinetic energy of flowing liquid is converted to useful work by decelerating the liquid flow and directing the inertia force in the water against a movable element in the liquid flowcontaining structure whic... | 11/27/1984 |
| 4470342 | Air-handling unit The present invention provides an air-handling unit that can supply air, to a desired space, which is cold, which is cooler than the set point of the thermostat for that space and hence is referred to as cool air, which is warmer than that set point and h... | 09/11/1984 |
| 4467879 | Well bore tools Well bore tools configured as centralizers/stabilizers, well bore reamers, and keyseat wipers each of which includes an elongate tubular body having a generally cylindrical outer surface and a diameter approximately equal to the diameter of the borehole b... | 08/28/1984 |
| 4466191 | Method for creating a plat from a metes and bounds property description A method for drawing a plat from a metes and bounds property description includes the steps of providing a first page presenting a compass rose and a grid pattern. A plurality of lines are then created on the first page, each beginning at a center point o... | 08/21/1984 |
| 4463803 | Downhole vapor generator and method of operation Disclosed is a method and apparatus for generating high pressure steam within a well bore. The steam vapor generator is constructed for receiving and mixing high pressure water, fuel and oxidant in a down-hole configuration. High pressure water is receive... | 08/07/1984 |
| 4452120 | Tuning peg assembly An adjustable clutched handle for turning the drive shaft of a tuning peg assembly on a stringed instrument, such as a guitar, and a linear extension tightening post. The clutched handle includes a tubular handle element having a transverse hole formed pe... | 06/05/1984 |
| 4452001 | Firing pin mechanism The present invention relates to improvements in firing and cocking mechanism of a breach loading firearm. This invention utilizes a substantially massive pin block disposed in a horizontal track between two counter biasing springs, the main spring and th... | 06/05/1984 |
| 4448215 | Multiple flow control valve A multiple flow and direction control valve connectable to a plurality of separate fluid sources, the valve having a fluid power port and a fluid exhaust port and a first movable valve body being operable to add or subtract the flow rates of a plurality o... | 05/15/1984 |
| 4446748 | Proportional flow sampler Disclosed is an improved proportional gas flow sampler having a combined arrangement of baffles with orifice plates for obtaining proportional flow sampling. Orifice plates may be used alone for this purpose and baffles also may be used alone, but by comb... | 05/08/1984 |
