Bizarre Patents
User-operated amusement apparatus for kicking the user's buttocks
An apparatus including a user-operated and controlled apparatus for self-infliction of repetitive blows to the user's buttocks by a plurality of elongated arms bearing flexible extensions that rotate under the user's control.
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| Number | Title | Issue Date |
| 6167501 | Methods and apparatus for manarray PE-PE switch control Processing element to processing element switch connection control is described using a receive model that precludes communication hazards from occurring in a synchronous MIMD mode of operation. Such control allows different communication topologies and v... | 12/26/2000 |
| 6158146 | Rapid drying oven and methods for providing rapid drying of multiple samples A dryer for use with chemical compounds employs controlled vacuum, elevated temperature and dry, inert gas to dry the chemical compounds. The dryer includes a vacuum chamber into which trays containing the compounds are placed. The chamber includes heatin... | 12/12/2000 |
| 6151668 | Methods and apparatus for efficient synchronous MIMD operations with iVLIW PE-to-PE communication A SIMD machine employing a plurality of parallel processor (PEs) in which communications hazards are eliminated in an efficient manner. An indirect Very Long Instruction Word instruction memory (VIM) is employed along with execute and delimiter instructio... | 11/21/2000 |
| 6134278 | Methods and apparatus for CDMA rate detection Techniques for more accurately detecting the data rate of a frame of data in a cellular telephone system are described. Data is preferably received at one of four rates: full, half, quarter and eighth. A correlation is performed between the incoming soft ... | 10/17/2000 |
| 6114625 | Article comprising a fastener A fastener for detachably coupling a housing, such as a battery pack, to an appliance, such as a wireless terminal, is disclosed. In use, the fastener is disposed in a housing. When a user applies a force to the fastener to release the housing from the ap... | 09/05/2000 |
| 6108119 | Methods and apparatus for monitoring and controlling optical modulator signal quality Automatic bias setting circuits for multiple quantum well (MQW) diodes and optical modulators generally are described. Both digital and analog circuits are provided and techniques for utilizing such circuits for monitoring and controlling optical modulato... | 08/22/2000 |
| 6101492 | Methods and apparatus for information indexing and retrieval as well as query expansion using morpho-syntactic analysis An index generator and query expander for use in information retrieval in a corpus. A corpus is provided as an input to an inflectional analyzer, which produces a lemmatized corpus having base forms and associated inflections for each word in the original... | 08/08/2000 |
| 6101592 | Methods and apparatus for scalable instruction set architecture with dynamic compact instructions A hierarchical instruction set architecture (ISA) provides pluggable instruction set capability and support of array processors. The term pluggable is from the programmer's viewpoint and relates to groups of instructions that can easily be added to a proc... | 08/08/2000 |
| 6094298 | Erbium-doped fiber amplifier with automatic gain control An Erbium doped fiber amplifier (EDFA) is placed in a laser cavity to clamp the gain of the amplifier. The laser cavity is preferably formed to minimize the effects of relaxation oscillations and of spectral hole burning. In a preferred embodiment, the la... | 07/25/2000 |
| 6052579 | Methods and apparatus for improved cellular communication A cellular telephone system including a cellular telephone operable to perform functions programmed at a central location. The telephone transmits a code to a central computer, which then executes the function associated with the code. Functions include, ... | 04/18/2000 |
| 6023753 | Manifold array processor An array processor includes processing elements arranged in clusters which are, in turn, combined in a rectangular array. Each cluster is formed of processing elements which preferably communicate with the processing elements of at least two other cluster... | 02/08/2000 |
| 6018121 | Method and apparatus for simulating a jam session and instructing a user in how to play the drums An interactive electronic drum system and training techniques suitable for use in a coin-operated environment such as an arcade are described. Electronic drum pads, audio speakers, a visual display, training lights and an overall control system are combin... | 01/25/2000 |
| 5952240 | Discrete matrix plate positioner A positive displacement positioner employs rigid stops and actuators to position a work piece, such as a microtiter plate, in any one of at least three positions. Positioner platforms, each of which is capable of moving a work piece between at least two d... | 09/14/1999 |
| 5949222 | Self-oscillating switch mode DC to DC conversion with current switching threshold hystersis A simple, self-oscillating, DC-to-DC converter current source, using a small number of simple components, with hysteresis around the current switching thresholds. Slight design modifications allow operation in any of several topologies. In another aspect ... | 09/07/1999 |
| 5937536 | Rapid drying oven for providing rapid drying of multiple samples A dryer for use with chemical compounds employs controlled vacuum, elevated temperature and dry, inert gas to dry the chemical compounds. The dryer includes a vacuum chamber into which trays containing the compounds are placed. The chamber includes heatin... | 08/17/1999 |
| 5739457 | Method and apparatus for simulating a jam session and instructing a user in how to play the drums An interactive electronic drum system and training techniques suitable for use in a coin-operated environment such as an arcade are described. Electronic drum pads, audio speakers, a visual display, training lights and an overall control system are combin... | 04/14/1998 |
| 5616904 | Data verification method and magnetic media therefor Magnetic media containing data and method for data verification are disclosed. The data verification method utilizes the relative position of specific features of magnetic media signals, such as, peak zero crossings, the ratio of preselected amplitudes, t... | 04/01/1997 |
